Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Things That Will Make My Pelvis Fall Out of My Body and Flap Around on the Floor
Ive been thinking about doing this post for a while, because there have been many trends throughout the years that Ive been unable to take part in due to the issues I have with my pelvis. The following is a list - by no means comprehensive - of popular pastimes that would most likely cause irreparable damage to my already damaged pelvis. Read on.
1) Any diet/fitness routine with the word "shred" in it. Are you familiar with this trend? These "shreds" involve somewhat extreme physical exercises in order achieve results - weight loss, muscle definition - as quickly as possible. And every single last one of those exercises would make my pelvis eject itself from my body.
2) The Butterfly. OK so this isn't popular anymore, but I'm sure y'all remember it! It was a dance that involved standing on ones toes, bending ones knees and rotating ones legs in and out, simultaneously, in a rhythmic fashion. It was a very popular dance at one time, however if I ever attempted it, my pelvis would have left the building. Don't tell anyone, but I could do the Moth, lol.
There you have it folks, just a brief list of ish I could never do. Keep coming back because I plan on updating this list whenever I come in contact with yet another activity my pelvis will not allow!
Ive been thinking about this post and have come up with a few more things I cant do due to my pelvic situation. Check it out:
3) Twerking. We all know what Im talking about here, that famous dance move whereupon which one sticks out ones hindparts and shakes them vigorously. I have never twerked - never even tried to - because I know if I did not only would my pelvis fall out of my body and flop around on the floor, my femurs would too! Man, Id be one pelvisless, femurless heifer out here, and that just aint cute.